Amor fixes Insecurities
by Dizzy13
Summary: Bella, now Isa, has decided to stop dwelling in the past and finally get her life back. One little visit to La Push changes her entire life, where she makes incredible friendships and what lucky wolf captures her heart?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I sat, motionless, in my room; numb to the world around me. Trying to figure out why he didn't want me. Why did he pretend he loved me, promise me all these things I replanned my life for, just to leave? Why did he string me along for SO LONG if he didn't give a shit? He had told me that he love me thousands of times. He'd kissed me, he'd held me. He saved my life...

But just then I finally figured it out. I was his singer...but my blood isn't supposed to affect him, or at least that's what Rosalie said before Edward cut her off. Maybe he didn't want me to find out...the truth?

Now that I think about it, they'd always try to steer me in the direction they saw fit. Never letting me make my own choice...

He wasn't my mate...he never was. He just made me believe that because...he wanted my blood. Oh my god. It wasn't real, any of it...That ASSTIT.

Why am I so depressed over some son of a bitch that never loved me?! Fuck no. Not anymore. I refuse to dwell on my wasted time with Edward Cullen anymore. From this point on, he is out of my life; mind, heart, and soul...

Forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After my life changing revelation, I decided to turn my life around. My entire closet was filled to the brim with designer labels and brands; but no more. I didn't even get to choose what I wore when I was with them.

Another thing to my list of what method they used to change me.

It was about 1:15 in the afternoon on a Friday, so I decided to pack everything up and donate it. I put on some Black Keys, and got to it. Coming to another realization, I remembered that I hadn't listened to the music I wanted to listen to since before I fell in love with hi- _Edward_.

Another thing to add.

As I put the clothes in the bags, I'd remember when I wore them and, most of all, I'd remember snippets what they did to me with a new perspective. They being Alice and Edward, because to be quite honest, I didn't get to do things with Jasper, Rosalie or Emmett, let alone speak to them.

Apparently, Jasper was having a "hard" time controlling himself. But I always thought that Jasper was the strongest of all of them. Maybe even stronger than Carlisle. Jasper had to control his own actions, and he had to feel the emotions of everyone else. He had no choice. He was immensely affected by them, too.

That's why I don't blame him for almost taking a quick sip of me on my birthday. He had the entire family's bloodlust, AND his own. Now that I think about it, Edward and Alice's eyes were a bit too dark that night...

Poor Jasper. He must feel like it's his fault. I made a mental note, that if I ever saw him again, to tell him it was Fuckward's fault. And his wife...Alice...

By that point, I was done with packing up the monstrous amount of fabric and tied a secure bow on each one. I pushed all four jumbo bags down the stairs and grabbed my fuzzy midnight blue northface and pulled it over my cream colored off-the-shoulder sweater, the few things that the she-bitch let me keep.

Then I slipped my beige boots over my bright blue penguin socks and my dark wash skinny jeans. I surprisingly flew down the stairs, without tripping, and hopped into my truck.

I turned the key, and it stalled. Since it always happens on the first try, I automatically tried again. And again. And again. Until it FINALLY started.

I have to trade her in, I thought. I loved my truck, but it's time, I guess. I need a more efficient and more reliable car. That, and because of the memories it holds.

I drove and drove, with a destination in mind; the Reservation. I took the exit on the highway and proceeded to La Push, my home away from home.

I decided to invite someone to come with me, just so I wouldn't be left alone with my thoughts.

I arrived to the house, and jumped out of the car. I slowly walked up the steps and prepared myself for possible rejection. I took a deep breath and knocked three times. What I didn't expect, was how she greeted me at the door...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"What do you want?" A puffy-eyed Leah in sweat pants and a camisole greeted me with a tear-streaked face and a glare. If looks could kill...

"Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to come shopping with me. I thought, since we were friends when we were little, that maybe-" She interrupted me with a scoff.

"Did Emily send you? Or better yet, was it Sam? Just leave me alone, Isabella." She sneered when she said Sam and Emily, why, I dont even know. Then she moved to slam the door closed, but I put my foot in it's way before she could. It hurt like a bitch but I didn't care.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Look, I didn't come here to be your punching bag. I came to try to make a friend in you because, let's be honest, were both loners. I don't know ANYONE named Sam or Emily, so cut the bullshit and get dressed. We're going to the Mall. I'll be in the car." I finished my mini kick-in-the-ass speech and smiled to myself as her mouth dropped in shock. I smirked when she quickly compose herself and mumbled that shed be back in a sec.

Mission Accomplished.

I limped to my truck and sat in the cab and waited for Leah. She came out ten minutes later, with no trace of her obvious sadness in sight. She had a bright red knit sweater and dark jeans with light brown combat boots. She also straightened her short haired bob, and put makeup on.

She got into the passengers seat and turned to me as I turned the key several times before the car started.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I'm going through a really messy breakup, but that's no excuse to release my anger on you. But I am happy you came, and got me out of the house. My own family couldnt get me to leave...I thought, well it doesn't matter now. What matters is that were friends now...right?" Leah said, breaking off shyly on the end.

"Apology accepted. Now, let's fuck shit up." I grinned and she laughed and grinned back. I got onto the highway and Leah turned on the radio.

After we got to the mall, Leah dragged me to Victoria's Secret, and an assload of other stores. We went to Forever 21, H&M, Abercrombie & Fitch, and last but not least Hot Topic. I hadnt been there in...over a year. Edward said it was demonic and not proper, or something like that. Leah loved Hot Topic, and I sure as hell did too. After that marathon, we stopped at the food court.

"Hey, so...what happend with you and that Cullen guy?" Leah said carefully, trying to tell if she struck a nerve or not. We had already gotten our Chipotle burrito bowls and had sat down. I smirked, thinking how different my reaction would've been just yesterday.

"He was that unattainable guy that everyone wanted. And I got him. Turns out he's...not what everyone says he is. He's sweet and loving and gorgeous in the beginning but he's really an overprotective, obsessive prude who gets off on control. I thought he loved me, but it was all fake. He wanted my...complete and utter submission. And since he never got it, he left. I was a wreck for weeks. No eating, barely sleeping, just locked up in my room. Laying in my confusion and self loathing and depression. That happened because when we were together, he'd make sure i relied on him for everything, so when he left...Until yesterday. I realized that he couldn't have loved me, I was just the 'pet' he told me I was. So, I decided that after so much suffering, he is OUT of my life." I finished with a satisfied nod and Leah smiled. She took a deep breath, I took a bite of my bowl.

"Me and Sam were high school sweethearts. We had been together since freshman year. We loved each other so much...so much." She stopped, trying not to cry. It was obviously recent. I gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder and looked into her eyes. She sighed.

"We made love, and it was amazing. He was amazing...and then he proposed. It was magical. Then he said he was gonna go get some chips for the party we were gonna have that night...and he didn't come back. I was a complete wreck; I plastered posters in all cities within a 37 mile radius. Turns out that I go home one day from poster printing, and there he is. With my dad and Billy. He looked taller, and a hell of a lot stronger. He was really muscular, too. He looked...tortured. When he saw me, he cried. He ran to me and sobbed, apologizing the entire time. I was so angry at him, but I didn't have the heart to yell at him right then when he was so vulnerable." Leah got a far away look in her eyes and silently asked if she could continue. I smiled a small smile and she started again.

"It was different after he came back. He was distant, always leaving with little to no explanation. One day I got fed up and asked him. We fought, and he got so angry...he started shaking. He left in a hurry in the direction of the beach and left me there. I guess that's where he met Emily," Leah spat her name as if it was the deadliest poison.

"Not two days passed before he said that we weren't meant to be. We didn't belong, but Emily and him did. He asked for the ring back, but after that I threw it at him. He looked so...distant. Like we hadn't spent five years together. Like he didn't propose. Like we hadn't been each others firsts. Like...like he had never loved me. " Tears prickles and one fell as she looked away, dabbing them away with a Chipotle napkin.

"They thought we weren't good enough. But we ARE. We TOO GOOD for them. Now, let's let out the inner bitch I know is itching to get out." I grinned at Leah as she laughed through her almost-tears. After that, we played a questions game so we could get to know each other better.

I think we were gonna be great friends.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After our little "deep emotional talk" or "DET," as Leah liked to call it, we finished our shopping and decided to go back to La Push. Leah decided to invite me over for a sleepover because she didn't want to be alone just yet, and I wholeheartedly agreed. Calling Charlie was hilarious.

"Dad?"

"Bella! What's wrong? What happened? Are you okay? I'll be right over!" Charlie said, obviously overreacting.

"Dad, I'm fine. Actually I'm fantastic!" I laughed. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to sleepover at Leah's. Clearwater. Is that okay?" I asked, preparing for any reaction.

"Uh...Sure. Of course. But...I didn't know you were friends with her." Charlie sounded completely shocked. In a good way, though.

Yeah, dad, I know. I'm not really known for having friends.

"Yeah, we went shopping today. It was a lot of fun," I smiled, remembering our new inside jokes and grimaced when I remembered Leah's trip to Sexual Sanctuary had me laughing.

"I'm glad you have a friend, Bells. I'll see you tomorrow?" Charlie sounded emotional, and right then I vowed to pull myself together so that I'd never put him through all that again. If not for me, then for him.

"Probably," You could hear my smile trough the phone as I told Leah to shut the fuck up. She kept giggling like an idiot as we reached my car. We flung our bags into the back and got in the cab, but not before I checked the trunk was securely closed. It was starting to drizzle too, so I put on the rain cover and got in the cab as Leah was hanging up with her mom.

"Yea, mom...I'm happy, too...love you. Bye." Leah put her phone away and threw thumbs up over her shoulder as I continued talking to Charlie.

"Okay, well...bye. Love you Bells." Charlie said, his voice still thick with emotion. Oh, dad.

"Love you too, Daddy. Bye." I didn't want to face his reaction right away, so I hung up and took a deep breath before I started the car. My boot covered foot quickly found the pedal as I pulled out of the parking lot.

"Okay, would you rather...watch your parents have sex for a year or have sex with them once?" I asked, knowing that no matter how bad the question was, she'd always find a worse one.

"Hmm...can I close my eyes?" She looked thoughtful, lips pursed. I looked at her, bewildered; hoping to god that she was referring to the first choice.

"Kinky," I muttered as she laughed.

We continued our fucked up game of would-you-rather all the way to Leah's house and laughed so hard, we were both in tears, clutching our stomachs as we gathered our bags and headed towards the door.

I really should call Jacob, I thought. After that movie theater episode, he'd never called me back. Weird...

"Bella?!" Seth came running down the steps and almost pushed me to the ground with the force of his hug.

"Hey, Seth," I laughed and hugged him back, dropping all the bags. He felt bigger, stronger. Damn.

I had kinda talked with Seth at the bonfire that Jake had dragged me to. I was a zombie then, so for him to still try to befriend me after that was kinda huge. Besides, he was adorable.

"Damn, Seth. Somebody has grown, I see?" I smirked as he boasted his chest out and laughed, confident.

Seth had grown taller than me. He was wearing jeans, blue converse, and a tight black shirt. His russet skin was more toned, and I saw a bit of a six pack when he was running to me, when his shirt rode up. And when he spun-hugged me, I felt it.

"Damn, are all the rez boys beefing up or some shit? Is it that new steroid...what's it called; oh, something-something-aphine." I said so seriously, which made Leah, Seth and Sue, who had just come out to greet us, chuckle.

"Nice to see you, Bella," Sue smiled, as she leaned on the post on the highest stair. I smiled back at her as Leah kept dragging me inside saying something about 'her room.'

"Wow, Leah. I didn't know you were this hardcore!" Seth grinned at a mortified Leah and at a giggling Sue. Seth reached for a Victoria's Secret bag on the ground as we tried to pick them up to go inside...but it wasn't Leah's. It was mine, and as soon as Leah noticed, she smirked.

Seth rummaged through the bag and found the laciest, raciest, most see-through thong he could find. In my bag. I was slowly turning red, but decided no; I will NOT be the shy, clumsy, fumbling girl I was. I'm a confident, graceful woman...and I had to start acting like it.

I smirked as Seth stretched it and jiggled it in Leah's face. Leah was laughing each time Seth touched it again. Sue looked amused, and surprised, probably because Leah was seemingly back to 'normal' more or less.

"Ah, Seth?" I smirked at him as he turned to me, grinning evilly, swinging the thong around like a lasso. "Can I have my thong back?" His face was PRICELESS.

His face of confidence and smugness melted into one of sheer mortification. He dropped the piece of lace as if it had burned him, thankfully, right in a bag. I felt bad for him, but only for a second; I didn't want to let the old me rule anymore. It was new me or no me.

As Sue put it together, she started laughing so hard that she sat on the step, clutching her stomach. Leah sat with her, her head thrown back and shoulders moving up and down in time with her loud laughter. I giggled as Seth apologized profusely. I waved it off.

"Could happen to anyone," I winked at him, and he faked a smile before looking away. I smirked again.

"But it happened to YOU!" Leah said, hysterical, which brought on a whole other round of laughter at Seth's expense.

After the whole Seth/thong episode that still had Leah chuckling to herself and Seth, beet red, muttering apologies. And each time, I said it was okay.

"Let's invite Kim!" Leah exclaimed, saying she wanted me to meet her. She met her when she was still with Sam, but after his 'change.' She said we could invite Jared, Kim's boyfriend. And so that I wasn't 'all alone,' Jared was going to bring his friend.

That was another thing I needed to work on; men. I've always felt like I wasn't attractive, but no more. I was a confident, graceful, beautiful woman.

The sooner I started believing it, the better.

Seth went to the Ataera's supermarket to get the food and drinks and stuff. I'm sure he was happy to get out of the house even just for a moment. Leah and I brought pillows and blankets from the closet upstairs and laid them all out throughout the living room. It looked like a slumber party threw up all over the place, but it worked. What was also nice was that there was a pretty big new flat screen that my dad helped them get, Sue had said.

"SOOOOOOOOOOO," Leah said, all jittery, excited even. "You want to meet Kim?"

"From what you've said about her, yes." I smiled. She sounded like a good friend.

"What about Paul?" She asked, smirking. I smirked back.

"Isn't he that manwhore? I don't think he'd be interested in little old virgin white me when he can have anyone. "Leah scoffed, but then smiled evilly.

Oh, shit.

"C'mon Bellyyyy! Let's get dressed! It's a pajama PARTAY after all!" Leah was so excited that I had to smile and laughed at her antics.

Leah's room was a beautiful blend of blacks, whites, grays, and neutrals. It was amazing, how all the colors worked together. Leah rushed to our bags sitting on her bed and yanked my bag from PINK up into her grasp. She had a glint of something in her eye, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

"Put this on!" She said as she tossed me some shorts and a shirt while looking for her own clothes, but threw the don't-defy-me look over her shoulder. I laughed and looked at what she had given me; some yoga short shorts and a comfortable looking sweater with a hood. The shorts were black, and the fold-over piece was a beautiful dark blue. The sweatshirt was a soothing gray with dark blue trim and said LOVE PINK on the back in a striking white, effectively matching with the shorts. I decided to keep my penguin socks on, as I thought they'd match too.

"No complaints!" I hollered to her as I took my jeans off and slid the shorts on; comfy. I was about to take my shirt off but Leah came back in the room with a black lacy bra and panty set on, and with two gray yoga short shorts in her hands; one had a neon yellow fold-over and the other had a forest green one.

"Green. It compliments your skin tone." I smiled at her as she nodded to herself and slid them on. I proceeded to finish getting dressed and Leah put on a black sweater that said PINK on the back. It had the same forest green trim on the hood and the cuffs of it too. She was barefoot, her long hair still straightened, framing her face quite nicely. She was stunning...and so was I.

"Let's call Seth to make sure he gets the right food," Leah started. I nodded and dial the number before handing it to her.

"Hey, Sethy...oh shut up...aww that's sweet!" She glanced at me and smiled to herself.

"Yea, ok. Can you get two or three different chips, and some sodas? OH! And get jellybeans! And gummy bears! And gummy worms!" I laughed at her girlish excitement when she plopped down on her bed. I gathered my clothes and put them in a kinda-empty H&M bag as she finished the call. Then we went down the stairs to wait for Seth, and help Sue pack. Her and Harry were going to their cabin so they didn't have to endure our "crazy mixed sleepover that there better be no drugs at or so help me Qu'iataa!" Harry's words, not mine...though I did laugh at them.

"Do you promise you'll give Paul a chance? Who knows! He could be a little bitch, a jerk, a man slut, or a really sweet guy!" Leah pleaded, somewhat successfully. I smiled.

"I think I will, actually. If I know who you're talking about, then he's too hot to pass up!" I giggled as Leah chuckled at she nodded.

"SURPRISE!" Seth burst through the front door, carrying at least 20 bags in each hand, not counting the "I'm Sorryyy!" balloons, flowers and cake. A cake. Seth put the cake down, and Leah slithered to see what it read.

"'I'm sorry I played with our thong.' What the hell, OUR?" Leah started laughing and laughing that she had to sit on the couch to try and control her spasms of utter humor. Seth looked at me with so much- oh, poor boy.

"It's okay Seth. I'll lend you OUR thong as soon as I'm done with it!" I smiled, encouraging him to play along and he came over laughing and lifted me up and spun me again just as two excruciatingly gorgeous men and a really pretty girl came in the front door with looks of bewilderment. I immediately assumed that they were Kim, Jared, and Paul... Now I just have to figure out which one was Paul and which one was Jared.

As Seth let me down, Leah smiled at the guests and motioned them over to the cake.

"Jared," Leah pointed to gorgeous man #1 who had a rounded nose with thin lips and the amazing russet skin tone the other natives had. His muscles made his blue shirt painfully tight, and his smile was gorgeous; he was hot...but taken.

"Kim," I faced her, grinning, and hugged her. She was surprised for a second before hugging me back forcefully. She smiled and we greeted each other with words, like we probably should've done first.

"Paul Lahote." A deep, soothing timbre voice said behind me as our eyes met and...when he kissed my hand...I felt something I'd never felt before. Something that drew me to him. I had to be near him. His eyes held me there, but honestly I didn't want to move. He was still holding my hand in his grasp as his deep dark soulful brown pools were piercing into mine. Oh, those eyes; I wanted to drown in them for a long time. Leah and Seth's fake coughs and chuckles brought me back to reality.

"Isabella Swan, but call me Isa." I said, after breaking our gaze, and made eye contact with Jared and Kim before looking into Paul's deep chocolate orbs again. Then he got closer to me, grabbed my hand and guided me closer to him, never letting go of my hand. His touch; when he touched me, I finally felt at peace. Happy.

Why the hell do I feel this? I just met him. But the touches and the looks say he's into it as much as I am if not more. Maybe this is just how it feels to be attracted to someone; I guess it is my first time. Fuckward came to me; I guess I was intrigued, not attracted to him.

Jared was the first to go, taking one look at the cake before cracking up. Paul and I were still communicating with our eyes, hands intertwined, when Leah touched my shoulder and I snapped my gaze to her. I took my hand back as he let it go, and he half smiled at me. I smiled as Leah raised her eyebrows at me and motioned over to the bags Seth had brought.

"C'mon, guysssss! Let's set this shit up!" Leah said, excited as everyone chuckled. Paul and I made our way to the kitchen as Kim, Jared, Leah, and Seth started opening bags and pouring the snacks into bowls, hands tangled again.

"Seth...where are the sodas?" Leah looked right as Seth as he tried sneaking upstairs before she noticed he forgot them. Leah gave me three bags of gummy bears, a bowl, and a look and I knew I had to let go of his hand. As much as I loathed myself the second our fingers lost contact, I half smiled at him and he half grinned, half smirked at me as I made my way to the counter.

"Uhhh...they were out?" Seth smiled as Leah looked at him with disbelief. I just laughed, and Kim and Jared did too. Paul chuckled, making his way to the counter, leaning on it, right next to me. He was beautiful.

His muscles made his black shirt excruciatingly tight on him as the abs showed deliciously through his shirt and his jeans hung low, showing a peak of his V-shaped path to paradise. He looked at me with that oh-so-fuckable half smile...what the hell was wrong with me?! I never referred to men as "fuckable" but I guess I'm changing, I thought as I raked over him hungrily, taking my newfound perspective on men in stride.

"I could to get some...Isa? Do you want to come?" Paul smiled at me, reaching in his back pocket for his keys, as I answered back all too quickly.

"I'd love to," I peered at Leah, who was flashing me thumbs-up, and I giggled quietly. Paul looked at me, puzzled, and I laughed.

"Leah was just wishing me luck." I laughed again while I got into Paul's car, as he smirked. "But I think I can handle this one all by myself." I winked as he laughed and got into the driver's side and looked into my eyes again.

"You won't need luck," he said, pulling out of the Clearwater's driveway and towards the Ataera's Supermarket. I almost blushed, but quickly changed it to a smirk as he looked at me again.

"So, you're Chief Swan's daughter?" He asked, half smiling, heading in the direction of the supermarket.  
I grinned at him.

"Don't hold it against me," I winked. Wow, I was laying it on THICK...but let's face it; I need to get laid. He chuckled. God, he was hot. So, so fuckably hot. I don't think my girly bits can take this shit.

"I've spent quite a while with your dad," Paul said, interrupting my inner monologue as he turned into the parking lot of the supermarket. "But don't hold THAT against ME." He smirked again as I laughed at his antics.

He got out of the car and made his way over to me. He opened the door for me, holding his hand out as if waiting for mine. I took it, and we held hands into the market.

We went in and Paul got a cart, never letting go of my hand...I had to let go, as much as I didn't want to, to grab the sodas. Ughhh! Why do I feel this way? And so fast? Even with this "new" me, this is kinda strange…but with him, it feels different. It feels, right.

"Isa," Paul tried, peering over at me as we made our way around the aisle, into the next one. "Go out with me." He looked…vulnerable. It was adorable.

"Yes," I smiled, and a look of relief and pure joy passed through his face before he smiled my smile and took my hand, pulling me to him. When he pulled me, my body was pulled to his and I pushed him against the aisle as we looked into each other's eyes, and then lips; each second guiding us closer before I finally crashed my lips to his, and his tongue traced my lips, asking permission to enter which I granted immediately. I locked my hands around his neck, fingers intertwined in his hair. His hands went up and down my body before settling on my ass, squeezing, as our tongues battled for dominance. . Then he started peppering kisses down my neck, gently working his way down to my collarbone and back up to my mouth. This kiss was nothing like I'd ever experienced before, so so much better It was passionate, primal. Like we couldn't get enough of each other. Like we could sit here, exploring each other's mouths in this supermarket, between the ginger ale and the diet coke forever.

Suddenly, some woman cleared her throat and we broke apart flustered, out of breath, and nowhere near done yet. Paul gave her a dirty look, and she left as quickly as she came. He looked down at me; I giggled as he chuckled. I jumped off of him and he instantaneously told me we'd finish this later and proceeded to kiss me sweetly on the lips again before getting the cart. I stood frozen, but quickly regained my senses as I got a bottle of ginger ale and went up to him, who was looking at me from the corner of his eye. I slapped his ass, his beautiful firm ass, and innocently put the soda in the cart before I kept walking. I turned back at his shocked face that instantly melted into a smirk and batted my eyelashes as he grabbed my hand and we circled the aisle and went to the checkout, where group of elderly women were waiting, open-mouthed. We saw them and just laughed as they struggled to look away at our constant skin contact which I loved.

We paid for the sodas, sneaking glances at each other the entire time; giggling, chuckling, smirking, and flirting. The cashier was a nerdy young teen, braces and acne and all; he looked absolutely terrified of Paul which just made me laugh harder. Especially because Paul would scoff at nothing and the kid would basically piss his pants. When the kid looked away to wipe the sweat accumulating on his forehead, Paul snuck me looks; grinning like a child. He insisted on paying for them and we left, hand in hand, but not before giving the kid a smile, teeth and all, and told him to have a good day. Seconds later, the kid's khakis were soaked at the crotch. We laughed all the way to the car after that.

I felt good with Paul. Free. And I will not overanalyze this if it comes this easy; I will enjoy this, for however long it lasts.

I hope I'm not just some fuck for him. I hope he wants more…


End file.
